So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
We have started to decorate penises.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
