and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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