I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
you would pick up someone in the library
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
