I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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