Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
