How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
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