i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
