I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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