She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize