You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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