it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
