Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
