Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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