I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
