Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
