I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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