sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
