i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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