So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
