How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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