She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
i out mim tonsoeep
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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