maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Randomize
