just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
