Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize