Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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