Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
