You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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