in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
