Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
COCAINE IS GR8
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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