if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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