It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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