New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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