if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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