he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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