bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
