apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize