How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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