Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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