i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
