have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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