All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
His hands were made for my vagina.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
