why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
