Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
