she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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