Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
