I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
