Kareoke will never be a sober sport
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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