I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Oh god it's open bar.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
