My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize