everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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