if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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