he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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