He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
