did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
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she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
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No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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