Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(323): View more from California

If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"

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(949): View more from California

Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed

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(720): View more from Colorado

You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb

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(863): View more from Florida

In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us

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(425): View more from Washington

Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...

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(916): View more from California

you want your laptop back?

(1-916): View more from California

are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?

(916): View more from California

both.

(1-916): View more from California

come over.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.

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