At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
