Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize