OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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