dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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