You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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